“There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance”. Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
I am not easily capable of turning my back on a child in need. Adoption appears to be how God has wired me – a part of my DNA. Although this might sound virtuous, if done without wisdom, it can spell disaster for one’s family and your own coping abilities. That is why God’s timing is so precious. I have found on this journey that God literally protects us as a family from taking on more than we can handle – or rather, more than what He has planned for us.
One often hears the statement “God will not give you more than you can handle”. I know that people mean well, and yes, this statement sounds quite compelling and rooted in love, but I simply cannot find this notion anywhere in scripture. Instead, scripture seems to lean more towards ‘God will most certainly give you more than you can handle in your own strength – trust in God and not your own abilities’.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6
It must have been nearly two years ago, during the time that we were preparing as a family for the new season of moving up the mountain. A dear friend phoned me about a little girl needing a home. A very special little girl with Down Syndrome. As I have mentioned before, I simply melt at the thought of any little one with Trisomy 21. But a funny thing happened. Normally I would have moved heaven and earth to find a way for a little one like this to join our family. This time however, in God’s almighty wisdom, He gave me the strength and grace to shut my heart and simply move on. Something like this has never happened to me before! But, God literally enabled me to block this little one from my memory and my heart and to focus on entering into our new season. Crazy stuff!
The beautiful thing though, this little one was being cared for in a loving children’s home called The King’s Home in East London. She is adored by all and God knew that she would be just fine while He still had a lot of work to do with us. Ultimately, the Father’s heart is always one for adoption. God loves placing His beloved ones in permanent families. But as with any pregnancy, a time of preparation had to begin.
And so we moved into our new home in Ingwavuma and after six months the seed for Butterfly Home was planted. We now have a beautiful house with caring staff and space to love and care for 6 little ones. God has created in us both the desire as well as the means to love little ones who need end of life care.
And once again, my dear friend reminded me about a little girl named Sunny who has Down Syndrome and was in need of a permanent family. You can imagine my surprise when I recalled the earlier conversation that we had had nearly two years ago! How could I have forgotten about this little one? Guilt threatened to steal my joy at the thought of adding another “butterfly” to our family – how could I have forgotten about her? But, then God rocked up as He always does, and He lovingly showed me the blessing of His perfect timing. Little Sunny has a sick heart which doctors fear cannot be repaired and she is now in need of a permanent home to provide her with palliative care. Isn’t God awesome? With joy in my heart, this time I could easily say “yes” to little Sunny as we now have a palliative care team ready to welcome her into Butterfly Home. Two years ago we simply weren’t ready and had no idea that soon we would be caring for little ones just like Sunny in their last months and years of life.
I am sitting at the airport right now. We are on our way to go and fetch our little girl! Once again I am feeling God smile down on us as He provides all that we need for this journey. He is good and He loves us.
God’s timing is perfect.